Responsibility
by Wolfin
Summary: Athrun goes for a walk, to find that Kira has gone to look for him. They have a talk or two, and get a few things cleared up. PostSEED angsty fluff.


**Author:** Just a little something I've been mulling over...Read into it as you like, it's rather ambiguous as to whether it's slash or not -. Might have slight spoilers to those who haven't seen end of SEED, and SEED Destiny. Italics are either thoughts or memories, and the point of view goes in this order: Athrun, Kira, Athrun.

* * *

**Responsibility**

The sunset seemed to melt into the wind as Athrun walked back to the orphan house. Another peaceful day and another feeling of unrest. This can't last, he thought, running a comb through his hair. It was quiet when he came inside, and saw the reason why- nap time. Smiling faintly at the memory of the older orphans protesting this very thing, he nimbly stepped through the labyrinth of blankets, pillows, teddy bears and children, and entered the kitchen.

Wearing a long green shirt with loose checkered pants stood Cagalli at the stove, making supper. She knew how to cook well, which at first had surprised everyone except Lacus, him and Kira ending up with two bruises. Lacus sat at the table with Reverend Malchio, talking cheeringly of the latest skirmish before bath-time as she fiddled with the sleeves of a rose-coloured dress. Kira was nowhere in sight.

The Reverend looked up first and gazed at the direction of the door with unseeing yet kind eyes.

"Is that you, Athrun?"

"Yes it is, Reverend," Athrun said, knowing the man would hear the smile in his voice. Lacus pulled up a chair.

"Come in, Athrun, your tea will get cold."

"Hey! Athrun, where were you? Why did you take so long? Did you see Kira?" Cagalli bombarded him with questions as he sat down.

"Just went for a walk, lost track of the time...Nope." _Kira had been home when I'd left..._

"He said he'd go and look for you." Lacus sipped her tea.

A slight frown._ To look for me? ButI've only been gone since...damn.I didn't realize just how long I'd been walking._

"Athrun? Just where do you think you're going?" Cagalli asked as he opened the kitchen door, grabbing a coat.

"To look for Kira," he grinned wryly.

* * *

"Athrun..." 

The sigh seemed to dissolve into the breeze. Hands in his pocket, Kira kicked a can as he walked along. He had said he'd go to find Athrun as an excuse to get out of the house to enjoy a walk, where he'd be alone with his thoughts. Unfortunately, ever since he'd left, his thoughts had been invaded by green eyes and blue-black hair. So he'd spent his time worrying and looking for Athrun, and as the sun set, had decided to go back. In frustration, he gave the battered can a harder kick, sending it flying.

"ACH!"

"Huh?" Kira's head snapped up to see the person attacked by the can and an apology was half out of his mouth when watering emerald eyes met amethyst.

"Sor-ATHrun?"

"Kira! I know I shouldn't have been gone that long, but did you have to try to k-concuss me?" Athrun smiled, rubbing his head.

Returning the smile sheepishly, Kira picked up the can and threw it into a nearby dustbin. He'd noticed the slight pause in Athrun's sentence, as though he'd been about to say something else but had thought the better of it.

"Where were you Athrun?"

"Ah...just went for a walk... to clear my mind, y'know..." Athrun said, a gossamer thin line appearing between his brows, his smile faltering.

Kira swallowed._ Yes,God, doI know, that's the same reason I came out in the first place._ Slapping himself mentally for bringing up a sore topic, he changed it.

"The sunset was beautiful, huh?"

"Yeah...it sort of...yeah," Athrun stumbled over his words.

"Sort of what?" It wasn't everyday that Athrun Zala came near stuttering. Kira was curious. _Was the sunset really that special?_

"Nothing. I just- it was- beautiful. And...red."

"Red?"

"Not anymore though," Athrun said, looking around.

_It reallyis getting very dark. _Kira shivered as a gust of cool wind swept over them, swirling leaves around them.

"It sounds like the sea doesn't it? Like the waves?" Athrun remarked, pulling his coat tighter around himself.

"Mmmhmm..."

Just as he was wishing that he had a jacket, Kira suddenly felt warmth enveloping him. He looked and saw the coat Athrun had been wearing draped over his shoulders.

"Athrun, you shouldn't-"

"Sorry," Athrun mumbled, eyes apologetic.

"What for?" Kira asked in surprise.

"I ought to have noticed the weather before ...and brought two coats with me," Athrun informed him.

"But you'll get cold," Kira frowned.

"I can take it," Athrun said stoutly.

Kira grinned. _Athrun hasn't changed the way he always looks afterme..._

"I'm not your responsibility, Athrun," Kira said softly, pulling the coat over them both, his arm slung around his best friend. Athrun, who had stiffened at the contact at first, relaxed and in turn put his own arm around Kira.

"Yes, well, neither am I your responsibility," Athrun responded. "You didn't have to go looking for me..."

Kira caught the affectionate look Athrun was sending his way and returned it full force. "I guess we're each other's responsibility."

_I'm fine with that..._

* * *

Athrun rinsed his mouth one last time before turning the tap off, shutting the light and closing the door behind him as he walked toward the balcony. 

The moon is so bright tonight, he thought, eyes fixed upon the pale silvery orb hanging in the sky. The moon...

_'The PLANTs and Earth will see eye to eye. There will be no war...'_

_'You'll join me later, won't you Kira?'_

Sighing, but still transfixed by the sheen of the moon, Athrun kept his gaze up and didn't notice when someone came into the balcony. There was a cough, and Athrun turned to see Kira looking inquistively at him.

"Kira, what are you doing up so late?" Athrun tilted his head, not realizing that he was doing an exact imitation of Torii.

"I should ask you the same," Kira answered, smiling as Torii copied Athrun.

"Touche," said Athrun, his lips twitching.

There was a pause as both boys stroked Torii. Then-

"Kira..."

"Yes, Athrun?"

"Thank you. For coming back to m- us." said Athrun quietly. _Damn...I meant to say..._

"Oh, Athrun..."

Athrun looked up. Kira's head was bowed.

"I-I shouldn't have come back."

"Kira!" Athrun felt his stomach plummet to his knees. _This wasn't what I wanted happening..._

"All those other people...who didn't come back...because of me...would they thank me? Would their families th-thank m-me?"

Kira's voice was becoming harsher. Torii trilled and flapped its wings as tears splattered on its tail.

_Oh, Kira,_ thought Athrun wretchedly, kicking himself for bringing it up._ But that hadn't been what I'd meant to say!_

Torii took off abruptly. A horrible silence ensued.

Kira jerked his head up, and turned around to walk back inside, wiping his face as discreetly as he could.

"Goodnight, Athrun."

"Kira- wait!" Athrun said, a hint of desperation in his voice.

Kira stood still where he was. Praying his heart out that he wouldn't screw this up, Athrun reached out and clenched Kira's shoulders, spinning him around face to face.

"What is it, Athrun?" Kira said in an emotionless, carefully monotonous voice.

"Kira...I didn't mean it that way. Please don't do this to yourself. I-" Taking a breath to calm himself down, Athrun forced back the tears that pricked his eyes.

"Cagalli loves you so much, Kira. Lacus is IN love with you. You're needed by so many people..."

Kira's face remained expressionless, but his eyes had lowered.

It wasn't working. Athrun kicked himself. _Zala, you coward, just come out and say it,_ a part of his mind screamed. What came out was,

"You're needed, Kira..."

"Oh, really, Athrun?" Kira's eyes shot up and drilled into his.

"Everyone needs me, hmm? What about me? I- I need someone too, don't I?" Kira's voice was dangerously close to cracking.

Athrun swallowed._ THAT'S WHAT YOU GET_, his mind screeched at him, _FOR NOT SAYING IT. YOU HAD THE CHANCE, AND THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED, HE WOULD HAVE KNOWN-_

_Shut up_, said his heart, glaring at the mind.

His throat stuck, and mind buzzing, Athrun did the only other thing that would convey his what he'd wanted to say all along. He held out his arms to Kira, the tears brimming in his eyes. One slowly slid down his cheek.

Kira's hands trembled slightly as he wiped the tear away with a thumb, and suddenly, suddenly Athrun's arms weren't empty anymore.

* * *

**Author:**

Eek. suffocates under self-induced fluff But...the way GSD was going, I want to imagine that they had some kind of, well, talk beforehand. However long ago.


End file.
